ALL THE KILCLINTON THAT'S FIT TO DRINK
Kilclinton could be described as the musical pourings of messrs Erikk Von Danegan and Wilanese Beret; that could be a half-truth though, as the exhaustive list of band members indicates:
PERMANENT TEAM PLAYERS
Morrissey's Qunt - The Voice
Dikk Slapp - Bass
King Quong - Melody Master
Nailz - Pheasant
Daniel, Begg - Negotiations
DJ 100% Buttermeat - Twax
Lord Awful Of Jesusbanjo - Balls
Simon Dianalogue - Finances (Sausages From Paeckhaarts - No Shins Required)
SUBSTITUTES
Disco Quoff - Accounts
Queer Helmet - Refreshments
Kilclinton deliver music variously described as high quality party-mong. Initial corporate activities of Kilclinton were in soundtracking popular online cult-phenomenon The Opinion Shed
KILCLINTON RELEASE SCHEDULE (Gruelling)
The first group in history to declare their entire discography before completing a single note of it, Kilclinton strive to produce the following slabs of molten vinyl:
Kilclinton Floors The Music Industry [LP]
Kilclinton Flaws The Music Industry [LP]
Dual release, designed to console and confuse.
Purgatorycore [EP]
Doomy like Hell, Disco like Heaven: Purgatorycore. (Slogan by Saatchi and Saatchi).
Acid Works [EP]
Split release with Gashsucka (death-metal offshoot).
Pre-Coital Disco [EP]
Aurally Pleasured by Kilclinton (In My Sleep I Was) [EP]
Concept album about a young man's journey 'neath the duvet with his personal listening device, hoping to be serenaded to sleep by his favourite disco troupe "just for one song", only to wake up at 5.30am, ears ablaze, eyes bulging and gasping for air as the headphone wires mercilessly constrict around his windpipe like two electric pythons. His struggle to untangle them intensifies in the darkness, until eventually he settles for the dulcet tones of Roy "The Voice/Il Voce" Orbison instead.
Sleep, Perchance to Dance [EP]
This EP captures Kilclinton at the height of their skullbending powers. Mastered to 96kbps mp3, then transferred to 1/4 inch tape no less than 7 times, this release is an audiophile's dream, pressed on 180g virgin vinyl. The first 50 copies came with a Linn Sondek LP12 turntable and Grado RS1 headphones.
Kilclingus, Killatio, Kilcoitus [Triple EP]
21" vinyl EP, split into 3 equal-sized chunks, the first to be enjoyed by girls, the second to be enjoyed by boys, and the third to be enjoyed by girls and boys (though mainly by boys).